HOUSEKEEPING OF THE MIND

SELF-REGULATION INSIDE THE COURTROOM PT. 2

Excerpt from THE CODE E-BOOK: a free downloadable e-book (w/purchase of The Respondent) full of tips, insights and secrets on how to navigate the trauma of family separation:

2. EMOTIONAL CONTAINMENT

Do not show emotion in the courtroom. Contain it.
This is the most important practice of all when in court and was the hardest for me to adhere to. It took me years and over fifty court appearances to begin to grasp just how vitally important it is as The Respondent that we contain our emotions. Remember, we have already been classifed as the perpetrator, and the court will therefore receive any and all facial and physical expressions as reactionary confirmations of our bad character, furthering the narrative that we are The Respondent perp.

Never show negative emotion in court. It will only serve to support the Petitioner’s story of us as the emotionally unstable villain and further justify the court’s initial perception of us as the black-hatted bad guy. We must be extremely diligent with this, because, while we believe we are remaining calm, cool, and collected, we may be unconsciously presenting extremely negative facial micro-expressions.

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If you are struggling to cope with the Family Law system, or life in general, The CODE e-book offers impactful and immediate relief strategies to survive the Six Silver Bullets of High Confict Divorce and the Magic Ballistics of Family Law.

The CODE e-book is free and full of tips, insights and secrets on how to navigate the trauma of family separation.

Wholesome o💟f Heart

a poem

Wholesome o💟f Heart

❌ FULL of HOLES 
✔️ SOME of WH💚LES

       Feel whole in the heart and the truth is spoken,
If there’s a hole in the heart, then the heart is broken,
       Authenticity within emotional intimacy,
Lies within the terror of vulnerability. 

       Outward rage belies inward pain,
Rage by nature, shame by name.
       Believing that which makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful is key,
Housed at the very core of understanding humanity.

       Shame is the gatekeeper of an illusionary suspicion,
That the terror of vulnerability is an insurmountable condition.
       The power of shame reflects this terror within,
And most folk know not where to begin.

To salvage love, imbue and impart,
       Capture your rapture, be wholesome of heart.
Seek the vulnerable core of the shame in the self,
       Dwell in it’s presence, reside in it’s wealth.

Vulnerability is at the core of shame all above,
       For it is also the birthplace, of authentic love.
Vulnerability is at the core of shame all above,
       For it is also the birthplace, of authentic love.

I used this poem as a sub-header for Part Three in my book The Respondent:

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HOUSEKEEPING OF THE MIND

SELF-REGULATION INSIDE THE COURTROOM PT. 1

Excerpt from THE CODE E-BOOK: a free downloadable e-book (w/purchase of The Respondent) full of tips, insights and secrets on how to navigate the trauma of family separation:

1. BEHAVE ONESELF

The moment we enter the courtroom we are being watched. If the Judge has not taken the bench, be aware that the bailiff may already be sizing us up for potential issues. (They wear guns for a reason.) Remember, we are now tagged as The Respondent perpetrator.

The adversarial system of justice–– particularly in Family Law––is not primed to see our person‐hood. It’s instead conditioned to presumptively assume our propensity to become a “repeat o'ender.” As we are already feeling vulnerable, our nervous system is agitated. The personal attacks will be unrelenting, the character assassinations vicious and unsavory. But whatever we do, we must NOT react. Be watchful. Observe. Be still. Be stoic. Self-regulate. Behave oneself.

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If you are struggling to cope with the Family Law system, or life in general, The CODE e-book offers impactful and immediate relief strategies to survive the Six Silver Bullets of High Confict Divorce and the Magic Ballistics of Family Law.

The CODE e-book is free and full of tips, insights and secrets on how to navigate the trauma of family separation.